"You can't erase the past, but you can create a beautiful future."                   ~Michal Madison

Wisdom from an 8 Year Old   I love Paije. She walked into my booth last Memorial Day weekend, when I was displaying my paintings at Art in the Park. Her mom and little bother were with her. I watched as she moved slowly from painting to painting, taking them all, as if she were memorizing each face, each brush stroke, deep inside her. She’s just eight, but the past two years have brought pain that is overwhelming. She doesn’t have a dad. She used to have a dad… but things changed. She's learned early that bad things happen and life goes on. Sometime we feel as if left us in the wake, trying to stay afloat.  Soon after we met, I started teaching her art lessons. She wanted to learn how to draw eyes and faces. (I couldn’t say “No” to that!”) She soak everything up like a dry thirsty sponge. Our plan is that she draws me one of the things that we are working on together at class,  and the rest of the week, she can draw whatever she wants, whatever her soul desires. This past week she brought this drawing to me titled “Tears of Time”. If you look closely you can see words, emotions, filling the iris. She’s also started writing something that goes with her art as well. She liked that I did that on my website and Facebook. (She’s one of my most avid fans via her mum’s account.)  Here are her words:      The tears of time keep falling and falling from looking in the past.      All of the sad memories that have found her heart and eyes and soul.      The tears will fall until she falls asleep.      Then she will forget for the night.      And the tears of time will come back and it won’t stop.      But she can stop it.      She knows with God and her family, she can get through this.                                                                          ~Paije, age 8, September 2014 Art heals. Art helps us deal with the chaos that is going on inside, the stuff that doesn't make sense. I love being part of that process in a child’s life. Paije’s favorite painting of mine is “Shadow’s of the Past” (at top). I understand why. She has a print to remind her that, while we can’t make the bad stuff that has happened to us disappear, we can focus on the good stuff, on the light, on what is going right in our lives today. That is where we find hope to carry on, hope to get through the pain, the loss, the heartache. Paije realizes the gift of being surrounded by people who truly love her. The strength that comes from having Creator in her life. Today, I hope you find the joy and beauty that are around you, the gifts that are in your life, the strength that carries you forward. Surrounding yourself with art helps. Here’s where you can purchase mine: www.MichalMadisonArt.com. Ten percent of every sale is donated to Childhelp so that children who have been through extremely hard times can find hope. Thank you for buying my art and being a part of making Hope Happen! Exquisite Blessings, ~Michal Madison

I Want to Really Love Her... I just don't know how

Why is it so hard for me to connect with my inner child?

I Wish I Loved Her... I Want to Love Her. I Don’t Know How.   I have trauma therapy today. And wow do I need it. I woke up feeling yucky. Headache. Allergies. Often when I feel physically weak, I feel emotionally vulnerable. The mirror I passed in the hall revealed I was walking around biting my lower lip. I put an end to that, but only God knows how long I’d been doing it. The other day my girlfriend asked me why I was acting like a little girl. I hadn’t even realized I was. We talked for the next few hours. She held me. I cried. So many things are going on inside of me. So much “stuff” is surfacing. Often I feel like I’m on a roller-coaster. While I love roller-coasters at amusement parks, these emotional ones? Not so much. I guess I’m noticing it more now that I’m healing. Most days, I feel on top of the world. Excited about living. Free. Happy. More alive than I’ve ever been. Then suddenly in the midst of my day, as a highly functioning adult, I can collapse. Regress. Become like the vulnerable child who was wounded. It’s taken me a long time to even like my inner child. I love children. They are drawn to me like a magnet and I to them. But my inner child? I have a hard time with her. I tend to treat her like all the other adults in her life did. She gets in the way of me living my life. She needs me at the most inopportune times. I feel badly for not loving her unconditionally. I want to love her. Sometimes I feel sorry for her. But, honestly, I don’t have a strong relationship with her. I think when I form one, I’ll be a lot farther along on my healing journey. It’s just that I don’t trust her. She doesn’t trust the adult me either. And why should she? I’m not always there for her. I don’t love her unconditionally. While intellectually I know that nothing she did, as a child, was her fault. For some unknown-to-me reason, I still blame her. Just like the adults in her life did…for the abuse. (I know… It’s Wrong!) She was such an over-sexed, seductive child. As I’m writing this, I’m thinking, of course it wasn’t her fault. How could she have known anything different? Actually it was all she had ever known. That’s just sad. Really I want to wrap her up in my arms and hold her. I just don’t know how. I don’t know how to love that wounded child inside of me who is crying for my attention and love. The child inside who didn’t have any safe place to turn as a child. Well, that’s not entirely true. My aunties loved me. But, I don’t think I ever really felt safe as a child. That unsafe feeling followed me through life. Even now, I don’t feel entirely safe. There is still a scared little girl inside of me. Maybe that’s why I can paint frightened, sad children so well. They are me. I am them. Still. One day I will love the little me so much that she will be completely free. It will be safe for her to grow up completely. She won’t need to show up in my adult life and wreak havoc. Until then, I am learning to be patient with both parts of me: the adult me and the little me, who haven’t quite connected. You can visit my gallery and see all the different versions of little me. Maybe you’ll see your little self in their eyes also. Every sale helps today’s wounded children start their healing process. Worthy cause. Art you love. It’s a win-win deal. Here’s to connecting with and loving our inner children! ~mm

Copyright © 2014 Michal Madison Art, All rights reserved.

Now That's Just Creative Genius at Work. You Can Do It Too

Don't wait for good things to happen. Get out there. Be Creative

I have stacks of fashion magazines at my house. They're full of fun ideas. I enjoy designing clothes, as well as painting. And I use old magazines for art collages. So I keep them around. I was browsing through an old Elle magazine and happened on an article about fashion designer Kenneth Cole. He inspires me. Not just his elegant designs, but the way he uses this platform to share what he stands for. As we know, the beginning is one of the best places to start when we want to understand the magnitude of where someone is today. So let's go back... "It's 1983, and Cole, who planned to launch his collection of women's shoes during New York Market Week, doesn't have the budget to rent a hotel suite to display his wares -- let alone a showroom. Plan B involves borrowing a friend's production trailer. But the 28 year old can receive a parking permit only if he's actually filming a movie. So the designer changes the name of his company from Kenneth Cole Inc. to Kenneth Cole Productions, tells the city he's filming a full-length feature called The Birth of a Shoe Company and sells 72,000 pairs of shoes in under 72 hours." Now that's creative. Today Kenneth Cole is a $1 billion empire. It just shows me what our creative minds can do.  Every one of us has something amazing to give to this world.  What is it that you are longing to share? What do you have to give that is unique to you? Cole could have thought: "I'm poor. I don't have the backing to do this. I'll have to wait until I have the money. Besides, there are so many shoe designers. Who's going to buy my stuff anyway? What's the point?" I don't know if those feelings/thoughts ever even came into his mind. If they did, he, for sure, didn't let them stay. He didn't sit back and didn't wait for his ship to come in, he swam out to meet it. Cole does way more than design. He's an activist. He uses his fashion ads to declare his truth. He stands for something and he's not afraid to let people know. I respect that! He invites conversation with others, because he wants to know where others stand on social issues as well. He knows that when we talk about things, share our thoughts, we grow. We get somewhere. Yes, there are other shoe designers at New York Market Week, but there is only one Kenneth Cole. He got creative. He figured out a way to show the world what he had. The world is a better place because he's in it. There is only one You. So what's stopping you from following your heart. Make your mark on this planet. Live your passion. Life will inspire you. I promise. And you will inspire others. Want to see what I love to do? Visit Michal Madison Art. 10% of every sale is donated to Childhelp. Creating safety for children and ending abuse is something else I'm passionate about. Find what brings you joy. Follow you bliss. Life is too short to be anything but happy. When we're doing what we love, we make a difference in the lives of others. It just happens. Here's to making a difference in this world~ mm

Copyright © 2014 Michal Madison Art, All rights reserved.

Knowing When to Stop

Knowing When to Stop

I just burned another pot of beans. The crazy thing is that they were finished cooking when I added the salt & a few other seasonings. But instead of turning the burner off & just letting the seasonings marry in the pot, I left the heat on thinking that I would help the process along.  It might have been ok, but I left the room & forgot I was cooking the beans. This isn’t the first time I’ve burned food. I need to stay focused on what I’m doing & know when to stop.
The same thing happened to a painting this week. Though it’s not completely ruined like the beans are, I wish I had stopped sooner. I feel that this painting has lost some of its crispness, its edge.
I think it’s an important lesson to learn in life. Knowing when to stop is just as important as knowing when to take a risk & charge forward. Sometimes we stay in a relationship that isn’t good for us, way too long, & we end up burned (been there). Or we stay in a job that no longer inspires us & we lose our edge (done that too). It’s good to reevaluate life occasionally & just check to see where you are. Are you still embracing each day with the reckless abandon & joy of a child or are you dreading waking up? If the latter is true, it’s time to stop & seek a new path. That doesn’t always mean cutting ties, but sometimes it does… sometimes it means looking at the situation with new eyes, or seeking counsel. Remember, whatever situation you are in, you are never stuck. Never.
It is important to surround yourself with things that inspire you to live with passion. A meaningful painting on your wall could change your perspective & give you the extra push you need to know when to stop & when to press on. My website is www.MichalMadisonArt.net/galleries.html. If you see something you love, let me know, we’ll work out the details of making it yours. If you imagine something you’d love to have, but don’t see, & think I can create it, let me know, send me a message. I do commissions as well.
Staying on top of your game, staying fresh, vibrant, full of life has a lot to do with knowing when to stop.
Wishing you a day filled with magic & miracles
~Michal Madison

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Happiness Heals

Look for Joy
 

...if it's hiding... find it.

Hi Friends,

I spent a long weekend in the hospital. No, I wasn’t the one in the hospital bed, it was my adopted mum. She was in again, because her counts were down. She has cancer. She’s had it for a long time, but it went into remission for years. We celebrated. It came back. We felt sad. She’s been taking chemo pills. Her hair has fallen out and grown back in. She now has the super cute style that seems to be all over Vogue. It just grew in that way.

Mum is an amazing person. She was the first petite models back in the day. She has endured horrific abuse, domestic violence that also ripped her daughter’s life apart. They survived. They found freedom. She loves Jesus with all her heart. For most of her life she has been a social worker. Working right in the heart of a system we know is corrupt, CPS. She has the attitude, If someone good isn’t in there doing their best, the whole thing will fall apart & it’s the best we’ve got right now. I’m going to do my best to make it better. And she has. Even at the hospital, she was talking about wanting to be at work... for the children. She did not want to be at the hospital & everyone who walked in the door knew it within a few minutes.

I was there when her beautiful Middle Eastern doctor came in and gave her the bad news that her counts were going the wrong way. She held my hand, pulled me close & said, “Madi, I’m scared.” I held her tighter. I knew she was, inside we all were. But we had to face the fear with courage. Because fear never cured anything, only Joy does. They gave her a platelets drip & I said, “Let’s imagine these platelets are little ninja angels going in to wipe out the bad guys and heal your body, making more, happy good platelet guys, so your counts will go up.” She smiled. Closed her eyes & said, “I can see them…”

My girlfriend (her original adopted daughter), her birth daughter & I were all there with her. We were laughing so much & being silly in the crazy yellow gowns they made us wear. She said we were better than TV. Laughter is truly the best medicine. I felt better.

The next day I was like a busy beaver. Mum was cold…she needed a fleece blanket (I’m a wiz at making them now). & She was sad… her room wasn’t helping. So I took a full sheet of watercolor paper and made her a “card”, the one in the picture. My girlfriend & I delivered them that night after she got off work in the emergency room.

Mum sent us a text: “My girls, my heart is truly filled with happiness and gratitude by the love you show me, I love you both to the moon and back for always and forever. Mom”.

Guess what!?! Mum got to go home the next day. Happiness heals the heart & the body follows.

If you’re feeling sad, find something that makes you happy. If someone in your life is feeling down, do what you can to lift them up. Creator heals us through Joy, Laughter, Happiness, Love. If you need something happy on your wall, I’d love to create something just for you, with your favorite word…or you can get a print of the one I made for Mum at my website www.MichalMadisonArt.net/galleries.html

If you’d like to learn more about the important work that my adopted mom has dedicated her life to, visit www.ButterflyDreamsAbuseRecovery.com. It’s something Trish McKnight & I are also passionate about…you know, ending violence.

Happy Joy,

Michal Madison

Follow Your Passion

Share Your Gift

 

 

She is amazing at what she does. She can get on the radio and talk to us like we’re right there in the room with her. It’s magical. I’ve been there & watched her do it. I’ve seen her do a whole show with a few notes she jotted down in a notebook before she went on the air. I was impressed. It’s one of those things that I’d like to be able to do well. I can do it. I can. But not with the same ease and grace. For me, it takes hours, no days, actually weeks of preparation. I write every word out, because there is something that happens to me when I get on the air. It’s like I lose my ability to think and speak at the same time. Yet… I’ve kept trying to do it. Trying to be a radio host. It’s something I’ve felt that I wanted to do. No one was forcing me to do it. It all started with an interview with her… this woman who makes us feel like she in the room with us having an intimate conversation. She has become one of my best friends. She made the interview so easy, so simple I forgot I was on the air. Someone heard that show & thought I’d be a good host. Because with her I feel invincible on the radio, I thought, sure I’ll do that! It wasn’t the same. I loved interviewing people. But the anxiety I’d feel would actually cause me to go into dissociation. So I quit. She came along and said, “Hey, let’s start a show together.” I thought… with her, I can do this. & with her, I could. As long as she was on the air with me, it was fun. It was easy. It was wonderful. But doing it alone? Ah… I was back to the craziness. It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized all of this. I realized that I was trying to do something that just wasn’t me. It wasn’t a lack of commitment. It wasn’t even a lack of desire. It just wasn’t what I was good at or felt passionate about or excelled at.

I think there comes a time in all of our lives when we have to choose. Do we keep trying to do something we’re just ok at? Or, do we focus more of our energy on the thing we’re really good at, the thing we’re passionate about? I decided to do the latter. And I feel a lot freer. I know my bestie will still love me just as much, even if I don’t have my own show on our amazing network. And, yes, I still feel that it is just as much mine as it was before, when I kept struggling to be a host and feeling like I was letting everyone down when I’d freak out and cancel yet another show. Now I feel I can enjoy it a lot more, because I’m doing what I’m good at… painting.

What are you good at? Follow your passion. Devote your time to the thing that you’re great at and become better at it. Want to hear the magical host? You can. She’s on www.blogtalkradio.com/ButterflyDreamsAbuseRecovery every Monday and Wednesday evening at 9pm eastern time. Her name is Trish & I love her! Want to see what I’m good at? You can. Visit my website at www.MichalMadisonArt.net/galleries.html and while you’re there, pick out something that touches your heart, keep it for yourself or share it with a friend. 10% of every sale is donated to ending child abuse (Childhelp. My art helps support Butterfly Dreams too). That’s something Trish and I are both passionate about. That’s why we started Butterfly Dreams in the first place.

Follow you passion my friends. You have a gift that only you can give the world. Share it!

Dream Big. Create Miracle. Expect Magic.

Michal Madison

 

21 March 2014

Elephant Inspirations

"Art can touch emotions in someone's life and reignite a dream, even a dream that has been through devastating circumstances. So look around. Be blessed by the amazing wonder, the artistic elegance of creation. Let your heart and soul be captured. Dream Big! Expect Miracles!" 

Elephant Inspiration 

I love elephants. But Lindsay love loves elephants. 

Well, let me start back at the beginning of this elephant story. I painted this elephant picture for my girlfriend (at the time, now my best friend who really loves elephants), so tons of love went into every brush stroke. We both decided, recently, that it would make great prints and cards. 
A couple of weeks ago I was showing at The Art Festival. I met a lot of really intriguing people, among them this interesting guy, Josh. He liked all of my art, all of it! I know, what’s not to like about him, right? But that’s not the reason... He bought one of my elephant cards, among other things. A few hours later, after lunch, he returned to buy another elephant card. 
Josh and I have kept in touch since the show and He shared an inspiring story with me. This is where Lindsay fits in. Josh went to lunch with his good friends Lindsay and Eric the day he bought the elephant card. Remember Lindsay really loves elephants! (Eric loves them also). When Lindsay opened the card, tears filled her eyes. They’ve been married for a while and were excited about starting a family. But several months ago they experienced a miscarriage. It shattered their world. Together they decided to stop trying to have a baby (for a while). While it’s hard to stop chasing your dream, sometimes it’s too painful to go on. The moment Lindsay saw the elephant card, a seed of hope was planted for them. Art can touch emotions in someone’s life and reignite a dream, even a dream that has been through devastating circumstances. 
Recently, Lindsay told Josh they are trying again. They are ready to embrace their baby and begin a magical journey! So, now I have a new dream! (When we follow our dreams, we inspire dreams in others.) I want to hold that baby! I want to look into that child’s eyes and know that s/he is here because hope is still alive in this world! I feel honored, humbled and so very blessed to have painted a picture that inspired hope and the expectation of new life! One of my mantras in life is: Dream Big! Expect Miracles! 
I knew you’d like this story, because some of you may have set your dream aside for a while. It’s my hope that a story, a piece of art or anything from Creator’s miraculous repertoire of unequaled beauty will inspire you to follow your dream once again. I also know that you will join me in asking Creator to exquisitely bless Lindsay and Eric with a beautiful healthy baby! I’m 100% behind parents who are going to love, adore, protect and cherish their children! So please send them all the happy thoughts, good energy and prayers in whatever way you ask your Creator and Higher Power to pour out goodness on others. They deserve a baby I will for sure let you know when this miraculous, inspirational baby is on the way and of course when innocence arrives to grace our world! 
Oh, and one more thing… if it’s a girl, they’re going to name her Michal!!! (How cool is that!)