Painting for Peace

 I am continually amazed by the healing power of art! How it heals me, the artist. It heals those who see it and find inspiration. And now through it I am also able to give back and help abused children heal.

Painting for Peace

the healing power of art

My innocence was stolen before I could speak a word. I know that is one of the reasons art is so important to me. It doesn’t need a vocabulary to help me express hidden emotions and deep feelings.

Child abuse is impossible to wrap my mind around. I don’t understand it! It was even more inconceivable while it was happening.

How could these people, who said they loved me, do these appalling things to me? I separated the evil events from my “good” parents, dividing and hiding the darkness so deep that I almost convinced myself it never happened. I dissociated. And so, as an adult, I always felt there were pieces of my story I just “didn’t” know ~ or maybe didn’t want to know… But I did want to know. I wanted to understand why I was the way I was.

But how? How does one uncover a past they’ve buried so deep in their psyche? Art! Art allowed me to discover my history in safety and continues to help me process my journey gently. It gives me the freedom to move beyond the barriers that confined me, to live in the freedom I was created to enjoy! Art helps us express emotions that we can’t find words for. There are so many art forms to express those emotions. The possibilities are limitless!

As a child I was rescued by music. I remember the moment the piano arrived at our house. It was a huge old upright grand with a magnificent full sound. I sat there mesmerized. That piano would become a place I could express my feelings. Through music I developed an inner strength.  I felt alive, grounded, present. I lived at the piano, lost and found in the notes, using music to tell my story.

Later I started exploring visual art.  There would be several more years of abuse before I would be in a safe enough place to truly start my healing journey using this medium. And then, it was through watercolor and collage that the puzzle pieces of my life story started to fit together. I started to understand why I ended up in more than one abusive marriage. Marriages that looked so great on the outside but were filled with assault and pain (just like my family).

I love the saying “life is a great big canvas, so throw as much paint on it as you can!” Part of my healing has involved “throwing paint”. Yes, it gets everywhere, but the benefits far outweigh any cleanup that I may have to do (besides, beach towels make great drop cloths and look so much more artistic with paint splatters!) It’s cathartic to let the paint “fly”, just to enjoy the process without allowing the outcome to be a priority.

I’ve found when I become focused on the finished product, I lose, to a great extent, the healing power of the journey — the process. I have discovered so much about where I am today, about where I’ve been, from these “paintings without a plan”. It’s as if a window was opened and I was able to look into my inner world.

I created a collage book, as soon as I left my second abusive husband. I was unwavering, at that point, to get to the root cause of my issues and start to heal. I was determined to never allow anyone to abuse me ever again! So I started using art as part of my healing, much more seriously.

I collected pictures and words from magazines that resonated with my feelings and desires. I had a little box with glue sticks, scissors, cardstock and magazine pictures. Every day I’d create something that expressed what I was feeling that moment or what I wanted to be feeling — the life I wanted to be living. I kept them in plastic pages in a three-ring notebook. I still have this collection of collages, and still find healing in its pages.

The amazing freedom of art is that one doesn’t need to be an artist to use art to heal. Anyone can collage — just as anyone can “throw” paint on a canvas, or find a box of crayons and a pad of paper and just let the inner self express feelings. The medium we use isn’t as important as just doing it!

The one subject I love to paint more than anything else is eyes. We all know William Shakespeare’s famous quote “The eyes are the window to your soul”. I believe that’s really true.

As I see the eyes looking back at me, newly revealed from the brush strokes of my soul, I almost always see myself in those eyes: a tiny child, without words; longing searching eyes; an angry woman who’s been holding it all inside under the fragile veneer of happiness; a strong, but fragile girl who can’t stop the tears from overflowing a moment longer. These hidden layers surface to be faced, to be loved, to be healed.

A couple years ago, I started sharing my art on Facebook. With my art came my story. Almost overnight I discovered how un-alone I was on this journey.

I wasn’t the only one whose family had stopped talking to her when she told “the secret”. I wasn’t the only daughter of incest whose parents said “it never happened”. I wasn’t the only person who had been sexually abused by both of her parents! I wasn’t alone.

People were sharing their own stories of survival with me. When they told me how my art touches something deep inside their soul, giving them courage to face the past and start to truly live, I was inspired to continue sharing my journey.

 I am continually amazed by the healing power of art! How it heals me, the artist. It heals those who see it and find inspiration. And now through it I am also able to give back and help abused children heal.

 People were connecting emotionally with my art and wanting to buy originals and prints, or cards to share with others. Right away I knew I wanted to give back, to help make a difference in the lives of children who were in the midst of healing. Today 10% of every sale from my art is donated to Childhelp. Giving back is another layer of my healing.

Childhelp has a phenomenal art therapy program that is helping wounded children heal! Through art, the silence is being broken! Through art, children are able to express those emotions they just can’t put into words. Truly, how do you put into words the pain of abuse? To me, it’s indescribable, even as an adult, because it should never ever be! Join me in making a difference in the lives of children by supporting Childhelp.

 Michal’s art can be found at: www.michalmadisonart.com

To Learn more about Childhelp's Art Therapy programs, go to www.childhelp.org/maks.

original blog: http://www.childhelp.org/blog/entry/painting-for-peace/

being tiny

"There are moments in all of our lives when we forget our true greatness & allow others to make us feel small. when that happens, think of all the magical things you could do if you really were tiny. & soon you'll remember who you really are..." 

here's to your greatness!" 

Being Tiny 

I Feel Small… It’s definitely not a feeling I would choose, if I had my choice of feelings. But here it is. Seriously, how can feeling “small” feel so big? Small should just feel small and insignificant. But it doesn’t. Feeling Small and insignificant is usually huge and overwhelming! Have you ever felt really, really small? You know, someone said something or did something and in an instant you feel smaller than Tom Thumb inside! 

I’ve felt that way many times throughout my life. I’m trying something new. I’m trying to embrace whatever emotion I’m feeling. Emotions never stay forever, so I’m trying to make friends with whatever emotion happens to be in my life at the moment. So I ask myself, ‘is feeling small really all that bad?’ 

There are moments in all of our lives when we forget our true greatness and allow others to make us feel small. When that happens, I'm choosing to think of all the magical things we could do if we really were small. You know, discover the wonder of small. 

Think of all the small things that we just love! Like babies, kittens and puppies, well, little baby anything, tiny flowers, hummingbirds and butterflies, ladybugs and… the list can go on and on, because I love little things… dainty earrings, thin tiny paintbrushes for painting the details in eyes and small spoons to savor every little bite of ice cream! Yes! I like small spoons. What small things do you really like? 

So, I imagine myself magical, like a flower fairy, or Thumbelina. I'd really like to try out being tiny enough to hide under flowers, dance with bumblebees and fly on the back of a sparrow! Life would be totally different from that perspective. Wayne Dyer says, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” That is so true! 

Thinking about how fabulous and fantastic teeny tiny small is, we soon remember who we really are... we remember our greatness. 

I realize I'm changing the way I look at what happened and why I've been feeling small, I'm able to see from their point of view. These people are going through their own personal “stuff” probably feeling ‘small’ in a not-so-magical way. Their decisions are a reflection of their life, not about me. Regardless of how I feel, it isn’t personal. 

On top of that, my feeling small, really has nothing to do with this situation, it goes back to childhood wounds. I always felt seen for what I could do, but never seen for who I was. That simple fact made me feel very small and insignificant as a child... maybe invisible! So what happened in the present triggered that response from a long time ago. Now I can easily and completely forgive these people whose actions simply triggered a something from my past. They had no idea. It really is MY deal. Now that I understand, I can heal. 

Next time someone hurts your feelings or you find yourself misunderstood, or misunderstanding another person’s actions, try looking at your situation from a different perspective — maybe from under a flower or on the wings of a sparrow! You may be surprised at what you see from a new point of view! 

Elephant Inspirations

"Art can touch emotions in someone's life and reignite a dream, even a dream that has been through devastating circumstances. So look around. Be blessed by the amazing wonder, the artistic elegance of creation. Let your heart and soul be captured. Dream Big! Expect Miracles!" 

Elephant Inspiration 

I love elephants. But Lindsay love loves elephants. 

Well, let me start back at the beginning of this elephant story. I painted this elephant picture for my girlfriend (at the time, now my best friend who really loves elephants), so tons of love went into every brush stroke. We both decided, recently, that it would make great prints and cards. 
A couple of weeks ago I was showing at The Art Festival. I met a lot of really intriguing people, among them this interesting guy, Josh. He liked all of my art, all of it! I know, what’s not to like about him, right? But that’s not the reason... He bought one of my elephant cards, among other things. A few hours later, after lunch, he returned to buy another elephant card. 
Josh and I have kept in touch since the show and He shared an inspiring story with me. This is where Lindsay fits in. Josh went to lunch with his good friends Lindsay and Eric the day he bought the elephant card. Remember Lindsay really loves elephants! (Eric loves them also). When Lindsay opened the card, tears filled her eyes. They’ve been married for a while and were excited about starting a family. But several months ago they experienced a miscarriage. It shattered their world. Together they decided to stop trying to have a baby (for a while). While it’s hard to stop chasing your dream, sometimes it’s too painful to go on. The moment Lindsay saw the elephant card, a seed of hope was planted for them. Art can touch emotions in someone’s life and reignite a dream, even a dream that has been through devastating circumstances. 
Recently, Lindsay told Josh they are trying again. They are ready to embrace their baby and begin a magical journey! So, now I have a new dream! (When we follow our dreams, we inspire dreams in others.) I want to hold that baby! I want to look into that child’s eyes and know that s/he is here because hope is still alive in this world! I feel honored, humbled and so very blessed to have painted a picture that inspired hope and the expectation of new life! One of my mantras in life is: Dream Big! Expect Miracles! 
I knew you’d like this story, because some of you may have set your dream aside for a while. It’s my hope that a story, a piece of art or anything from Creator’s miraculous repertoire of unequaled beauty will inspire you to follow your dream once again. I also know that you will join me in asking Creator to exquisitely bless Lindsay and Eric with a beautiful healthy baby! I’m 100% behind parents who are going to love, adore, protect and cherish their children! So please send them all the happy thoughts, good energy and prayers in whatever way you ask your Creator and Higher Power to pour out goodness on others. They deserve a baby I will for sure let you know when this miraculous, inspirational baby is on the way and of course when innocence arrives to grace our world! 
Oh, and one more thing… if it’s a girl, they’re going to name her Michal!!! (How cool is that!)